The White Kite
by wdmc
Summary: I've always wished for what we could have been, but I am content with we have had.


Warnings: AU, Sadness.  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing: 1+2  
  
Song Credits: Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch  
  
---Prolouge-------------------------------------------------  
  
//Of all the things I've believed in  
  
I just want to get it over with  
  
Tears form behind my eyes  
  
But I do not cry  
  
Counting the days that pass me by//  
  
Nestled on the sturdy trunk of an old oak tree, a boy watched the sun slowly disappear from view. Birds glided through the open air, dark silhouettes against the dimming sky. They chirped in merry as they made their way back to their nests before nightfall. The sky darkened to a dusky purple as remaining splashes of gold in the sky melted into darkness bit by bit.  
  
The boy slid further down the tree, shaking hands hugging something close to his chest, legs drawing up to obscure it from sight. A light breeze picked up, flirting with the leaves in the air, tousling his already disheveled brown hair. As the warmth on his cheeks dwindled, the boy sucked in some air and suppressed the tears that were on the verge of falling out from his eyes.  
  
His gaze fell on the white kite lying impassive between his chest and his knees.  
  
//Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away  
  
To a place where  
  
I am blinded by the light//  
  
The time had come.  
  
---1--------------------------------------------------------  
  
[flash-back: eight years ago]  
  
//It feels like I'm starting all over again  
  
The last three years were just pretend//  
  
In an open field, a young boy trailed behind the swinging braid of his best friend's. The tall blades of grass swayed in the wind, tickling the boys' bare calves as they ran in abandon. It was a sunny day, the green pasture graced with the sun's gentle rays, the little squirrels scurrying hurriedly on the tree branches, the birds crooning sweet melodies as they soared in the cerulean sky.  
  
"Oi, oi, not the braid, Heero!"  
  
"You are such an idiot, Duo! Do you know how tiring it is, running all the way from Grandma's to the field?"  
  
Heero found himself tumbling onto the grassy bed as Duo tugged him down playfully. The two boys laid on the soft grass in easy companionship, eyes closed, each enjoying the warm caresses of sunlight on their faces and cool whispers of the breeze through their hair. Small, content smiles dawned on their chubby faces as they savored the simple intimacy with Mother Nature.  
  
Heero tilted his head to the side and blinked open an eye to find the lazy smile on his friend's face.  
  
As if sensing Heero's eye on him, Duo folded his arms behind his head and drawled.  
  
"'s matter, Hee-kun?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Ne, as nice as it is lying here, I'm bored. Let's play!"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
Sitting up, Duo scanned their surroundings, big cobalt eyes darting left and right, up and down, looking for something to play with. Heero could see none, but joined in Duo's search as well.  
  
"Ha! Let's climb trees!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Don't tell me that you haven't climbed a tree before..."  
  
"Obaasan said that it's very dangerous. You can break your bones if you fall."  
  
An exasperated Duo nimbly scaled the thick branches, settling himself on a sturdy branch, swinging his bare feet in the air, leaving a worried Heero at the foot of the big oak tree. The latter craned his neck to look at his grinning friend with a hand raised over his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun. His neck hurt.  
  
"Duo, come down! Don't break your bones!"  
  
"Heero! Look at what I've found!"  
  
"It's a. kite."  
  
"Yeah! Isn't it awesome? Let's fly it high in the sky!"  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Yay!"  
  
The overjoyed boy carefully made his descent with a white kite in his right hand. Hopping off the thick roots of the tree, an enthusiastic Duo tugged the hand of a less enthusiastic Heero towards one end of the field. The boys examined the kite to see if it could be flown, it looked a little weathered, after all. Confident that they could fly the kite, Heero held on to the kite while Duo pulled the string.  
  
"1, 2, 3. Up!"  
  
Heero tossed the kite up a tad too late, so, when Duo started running, he only managed to trip over the string and entangled his short limbs with the long thread. Tickled by Duo's mess, Heero pointed at his friend and laughed heartily. Duo was initially annoyed by Heero's laughter, but soon joined in the laughing as he realized what a silly sight he must had been.  
  
"Heero, let's try again! We'll get it up this time!"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Heero answered with an amused chuckle. Seeing the playful Duo being so intent on succeeding in flying a kite was indeed a rare sight.  
  
They finally got it up in the sky the 15th time.  
  
"This is so cool! Do you see how high up it is in the sky, Hee-kun?"  
  
"It's almost hidden by the clouds, Duo!"  
  
Both boys looked up, wide eyed, at the kite that zipped among the puffy clouds in fascination. The boys took turns pulling the string, immensely delighted by the way the kite changed direction with each tug of the thread. When their hands got tired, they tied the kite to the branches of the oak tree and sat down on the grass once again.  
  
"WE LOVE FLYING KITES!"  
  
The two boys exclaimed.  
  
Kite-flying thus became their favorite pastime.  
  
---2-----------------------------------------------------  
  
[flash-back: two years ago]  
  
//It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time  
  
I want what's yours  
  
And I want what's mine  
  
I want you//  
  
"Hee-kun, wait up!"  
  
A panting Duo scampered after the fast-moving figure, out from their house and into the grassy field that had been their favorite haunt ever since they were eight.  
  
Little had changed on the pasture, the soft grass were ever green, soft and pliant beneath their bare feet; the trees stood tall and strong, wealthy with wildlife that inhabited them; lazy white clouds glided leisurely across the clear blue sky. The boys, on the other hand, shot up in height, Duo of ten inches, Heero just shy of a whole foot; their long limbs agile and slightly muscled; their voices deepened to mellow tenors.  
  
"The wind's picking up. 's good for flying the kite."  
  
Over the years, the boys never got tired of their obsession with the white kite. Tiny, sparse grass stains were its only ornaments as the kite landed on the field repeatedly time and time again. They had gotten brighter, fancier ones, but the simple white kite still remained their favorite out of no apparent reason. Hence, the little kite clocked in hundreds of flight time in the borderless sky and became a frequent playmate of the strong wind.  
  
"I swear the kite's gone higher than the heavens, Heero. I can't even see it anymore!"  
  
"Baka." Heero rapped the top of Duo's head and a smirk formed on his face.  
  
"What?" Duo nursed his injured head, gently rubbing at the scalp.  
  
"The kite's white. So are the clouds. Of course you can't see it."  
  
"Nope, I just saw the red tail of the kite waving at me."  
  
Duo's only reply: Heero rolling his eyes.  
  
They tied the string to the tree truck as usual, settling down on the grass, tucking their arms behind their heads, watching their kite, with its little red tail, dance with the wind among the clouds. Heero got cozy in their surroundings and fell into a light slumber.  
  
Duo, reveling in the fair weather, turned his head to comment on how birds soared in the sky. But all that greeted him was the serene face of his sleeping friend. He gaped. All those years they have spent frolicking in the grassy field, he had never seen his friend asleep.  
  
The matured Heero was, unexpectedly, the younger of the two. His good judgment and strong sense of responsibility resulted in Duo's grandmother entrusting her naughty grandson in his care. He always kept a lookout for his energetic friend, never letting him get out of his sight at all times. His mother jokingly commented that Duo seemed like Heero's property.  
  
He probably was.  
  
When Duo dozed off on the grassy banks, Heero would be awake to watch over him, no matter how much fatigue he was feeling. When Duo got home late from the playground, Heero would plead for mercy from caning on his behalf. When Duo came down with a cold, Heero would nurse him back to health with secret treats of candy without his mother's knowledge. When Duo was feeling blue, Heero would tell him a parody of Humpty Dumpty: how the egg didn't even crack because he was made of plastic, and crack Duo up in his rather pathetic attempt at humor.  
  
Gazing at his slumbering friend, the longhaired boy was comfortably receptive of the fierce protectiveness his best friend exercised over him, because he had always seen Heero as his guardian angel. And something more, his eager little mind quipped. He was sure that Heero loved him, but was determined to find out if the love was between brothers or. lovers.  
  
---3---------------------------------------------------  
  
[flash-back: half a year ago]  
  
Duo pranced around the field, chasing butterflies with great enthusiasm. When the insects landed on the yellow flower pods to gather nectar, he slumped onto the soft, dewy grass right next to Heero. The younger boy was leaning against the sturdy trunk of the old oak tree with a book lying unattended to on his lap as his dark blue eyes fluttered close.  
  
Overwhelmed by the adorable-looking and slumbering boy, Duo caressed his smooth cheeks and softly pressed his lips against his left cheek that was warmed by the sun's gentle rays. Afraid to let him hear his words, he said, almost inaudibly:  
  
".love ya, Hee-kun."  
  
"Hnn."  
  
Instinctively, he leaned into Duo's tender touch, rubbing his cheek against Duo's hand that smelled faintly of fresh grass and dandelions, eliciting a blissful smile from his friend. Slinging an arm across Heero's broad shoulders, Duo leaned back against the tree and let out a contented sigh, watching their white kite dance among the clouds in the cerulean blue sky.  
  
One end of the kite was so high up in the sky, that he thought it might have reached Heaven. At the other end of the line, he thought he had found his own paradise. It was there under the bright blue sky, in the open fields with the cool breeze blowing. sitting beside Heero.  
  
[flash-back: three months ago]  
  
Heero had to travel to Japan to abroad to visit his dying father. He hadn't seen his father before, for he had not been present as long as he could remember. Misako Yuy had entrusted her five year-old son in her mother's care while she was away at work, but she had never come back for him ever since. Though Heero resented his parents who had abandoned him, he could not bring himself to hate them and agreed to see his father for the first and last time. It was the only thing he could do for his father.  
  
Heero stood at the gate to the plane, light luggage in tow. He turned his head back to cast a lingering look at Duo, who was looking back at him with longing. He hadn't even boarded the plane yet, and he was already missing his best friend who had never been apart from him. Just as he stepped past the gate, Duo bounded to him and enveloped him in a tight, tight embrace.  
  
"Take care, buddy. I'll miss you."  
  
"Three days, Duo. Only three days. I'll be back before you know it."  
  
He tugged at Duo's braid before releasing him from the hug.  
  
//I've been searching deep down in my soul  
  
Words that I'm hearing  
  
Are starting to get old//  
  
Duo waited impatiently for Heero to come home. It was no fun flying the kite by himself, his best friend wasn't there to help release the kite as he ran madly to launch the kite into the air, wasn't there to carry him home when he fell asleep after watching the sun set, wasn't there for him to wrap his arms around him. Heero's absence, though only temporary, left a big void in Duo's heart.  
  
'Three days, Heero said three days. He has never lied to me, but it's already past the three days he promised me. It's been a week! Is he going to stay with his father? Is he never coming back? Has something horrible happened to him on the way? He will let me know if something cropped up, why haven't I heard from him?'  
  
Duo sat, perched on the tree, hidden from view by the thick canopy of green leaves. He tried not to entertain the depressing thoughts in his mind, tried to deny what might have happened. As his thoughts became more and more dismal, fear and anxiety gnawed at his heart and he shed the tears that he had never cried before.  
  
---4--------------------------------------------------  
  
//I still get lost in your eyes  
  
And it seems like I can't live a day without you  
  
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away  
  
To a place where I am blinded by the light//  
  
Three days lengthened to a week and spanned into a month. Despite Heero's grandmother's frantic calling her daughter, who always said she had no knowledge of him returning to Japan. Still no news of Heero.  
  
Each day, Duo would wait for him at their favorite haunt, sitting alone at the foot of the oak tree, unraveled chestnut hair flirting with the wind, empty cobalt eyes fixated on the dirt path beside the grassy field, hoping to see Heero come back, come back to him.  
  
[flash-back: three hours ago]  
  
It had taken the airline staff 2 months and 23 days to locate the missing plane. wreckage washed up the shore of some remote pacific island. What remained of the return flight were huge pieces of metal, weathered suitcases and a pair of mustard yellow sneakers. How the airline did not detect the missing aircraft when it failed to arrive at its destination was a mystery, and why the plane crashed into the sea remained unexplained. All the apologetic airline crew could do was to identify the belongings of its perished passengers and return them to their family.  
  
Heero's grandmother had asked Duo to go over to her house one rainy afternoon. There was news of Heero! Duo ran blindly to the cottage that Heero called home, hope and excitement rushing through his veins, only to find Grandma slumped over the table, silver hair in disarray, sobs wrecking her plump body. He stared dumbly at the pair of sneakers that were placed on the tabletop.  
  
Heero's only pair of sneakers.  
  
"That's all left of my grandson, my dear Heero. Damn his father for faking his illness just so that he could have him back! That bastard never looked at my Heero once. Not even once! He took him away from us. Duo. What are we going to do without him?"  
  
Big fat tears rolled off her creased cheeks, leaving shiny trails in their wake. Her thin lips quivered as she let out a moan of loss. Duo's knees gave way, his head landing on Grandma's thighs, as his eyes glistened with sheen of tears. He hugged Heero's sneakers to his chest close. They were all that were left of his best friend, his guardian angel. Guardian angel. Duo wondered briefly if Heero could see them grieving over him from Heaven. Would the sight break his heart? Like how his grandmother's and Duo's hearts were torn?  
  
[flash-back: two weeks ago]  
  
{Heero, I miss you so much.}  
  
A note written by a shaking hand was attached to the white kite that danced in the blue sky.  
  
[flash-forward: present]  
  
Saying goodbye was never easy, especially to the one you loved dearly. Daily notes of longing flown to Heaven did not bring Heero back to him. Instead, they only gave Duo the faintest glimmer of hope that the notes did reach his friend when he retrieved the note-less kite. Perhaps the finding of Heero's sneakers was his way of saying goodbye to Duo. For that, Duo smiled a little sad smile. Heero was so sweet to him, even when he wasn't physically around him anymore.  
  
This time, Duo had another note for Heero. As the sun was setting, he held out the white kite from between his chest and knees and scribbled some words on the kite itself. He tied a few strands of his hair to the kite before flying it. Tilting his head to look at it fly higher and higher up into the darkening sky, he tried to blink back tears as the white kite soared.  
  
He let go of the thread.  
  
{Heero, I know you must be somewhere up above, watching over us. Please watch over Grandma, her heart still aches acutely and her health is dwindling. I hope that you are happy where you are, up there with the angels. You've always been my spiritual support, do you know that? Can I ask for you to be my guardian angel? Living without you hurts so much that I don't want to live anymore. But you've always managed to stop me from killing myself, haven't you? Now I get your message. I'm going to live on, Heero, the way you'll want me to. I will cherish life and help others in need. Thank you for blessing me with your presence, dear friend. I've always wished for what we could have been, but I am content with we have had.}  
  
//And I said  
  
Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything that I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to//  
  
{I love you.}  
  
{~Duo}  
  
---The End. 


End file.
